Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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