I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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