You made me cry and you don't even care
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
