I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
