remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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