And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
