True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
