You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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