Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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