She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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