do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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