I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
