yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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