Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
