i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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