This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize