i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
