Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
