Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
