I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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