spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
operation have a gay friend backfired
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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