I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
