she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
