I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
