but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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