I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Small penises have feelings too.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He did a backflip because drugs
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
