i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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