giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
