Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
