I can tuck mytits in my pants
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Everything about him screamed your future.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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