R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
