North Korea, Best Korea!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
