i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
