remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
