Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
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Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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