hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My breasts were aching with rage.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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