Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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