thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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