operation harelip BJ is a go
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
And then he peed in my hair
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
