I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
