If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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