Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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