I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
