How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I believe in your delicious
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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