Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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