No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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