You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
