Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
