You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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