I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
