Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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