she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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