You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
