My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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