Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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