I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
