Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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