the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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