She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
