so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
