i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
