I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize