You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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