He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize