Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
