I'm sorry my penis didn't work
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
