My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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