i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
3 2 1 whiskey
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
