She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize