Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize