We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
